Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

I don't mean the title in the hippy kind of way where love makes the world go around but rather in a cold pragmatic kind of way.

It used to be my opinion that working in groups made everything harder. This thought was influenced in many different ways through my life in education. Team sports mostly resulted in competitiveness within the team and group class activities resulted in freeloading and arguments over tasks that could be accomplished by one person quite easily. Most importantly the standard of teamwork, or rather tribalism, was set by petty political leaders and teenage cliques.

HOWEVER, I now live in a house of 20 something's (and a 40 something landlord) and working together makes things easier for everyone. Just doing a favour for someone, like cleaning their dishes or giving them a beer results in equal, sometimes greater, payback. There is something to be said for that feeling of not having to do something because a friend did it for you. Actions can speak louder than words and in this case they most certainly do.

This favour economy only really works for people that like and respect each other. I can't see it really working with strangers or as some sort of grassroots revolution to change the world however I think it is still important to remember or even consider that kindness does pay- not in a karmic, bullshitty sort of way but if you are nice to those who know you or those you would like to know (hey, sometimes even strangers) you will probably get something back at some point and more importantly it's easily traceable- not hippy bullshit.

Most importantly with small favours and mutual respect you garner the efforts of your friends for those big moments and favours, when you really need another human being to help. You can buy that help with money or pleading but it really is awesome when someone helps you move out, or get to a job interview on time, or dispose of a body because they want to, not because it would be easier to do so than put up with your complaining. I think that kind of friendship is often put down to being cool or admirable enough to deserve it but I am coming to understand it as being deserved by the actions in-between the egos.

I dunno, if you think you're around people that respect you feel free to give. You might (hopefully(?)) be surprised.*

Josh.


*This prooooobably won't work if you are in high school. Most people are only just learning that people other than themselves even exist but it's really good practice and as long as you make sure that you're not taken advantage of it's pretty good practice for the future. Take it from someone that lives life with a healthy dose of misanthropy.